Hi all and HAPPY MONDAY!

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This week I’m talking about romance novel pet peeves. This is a prompt I gleaned from 365 Days Of Writing Prompts For Romance Writers by Kim Knight. Read my review here and check it out on Amazon – it’s free with Kindle Unlimited. Here are tropes I never want to read in romance again!

18. Good People Have Good Sex

From tvtropes.org:

And any past sexual relationships (usually with a conveniently deceased spouse) the heroine has had will be unsatisfying. And even if it was, it still hasn’t been nearly as good as it is now. This can even apply to the heroes occasionally.

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While there are times this trope works for me, I see it all too often. It can make sense, but I think it’s sad that so often in romance, if a young woman or a woman in historical romance has had sex before, it’s been bad. In any romance, regardless of genders of the characters, I prefer if a character has gotten theirs before and isn’t going into this relationship blind to the positive aspects of sex. Someone doesn’t need to be the only person to rock your world to be your dream partner.

17. He-Man Woman Hater

From tvtropes.org:

In which the male hero only hates women because of the actions of a bad woman, and will be cured in the end by the good heroine.

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This is another one that works for me sometimes. If the hero has been wronged by too many women in the past, it can make sense. But it’s 2020… I don’t want to read any more misogyny in books. Also, when the hero finally falls for the heroine (assuming this is a hetero romance), it perpetuates that whole “not like the other girls” nonsense.

16. Sex Equals Love

From tvtropes.org:

When two people have sex, they’ll fall in love.

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Let’s be real – it’s romance! Of course I want my main characters to fall in love. I really enjoy scenes were characters admit their love to one another and then finally have their passionate love scene. However, when it’s the other way around, I’m on the fence. Having sex, realistically, does not always lead to falling in love. I think it sends the wrong message to younger readers, too. I worry it will make someone think they have to have sex for someone to love them.

15. One-Hour Work Week

From tvtropes.org:

The leads usually spend more time making googly eyes at each other than working, which doesn’t seem to affect their job performance.

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Have you ever read a romance novel about a billionaire who is described as married to his job as a CEO and you absolutely never see him at work? Or a coworker romance where the characters seem to spend most of their time not in the office? I read a Wattpad romance recently, and the characters spent all their time in their apartment. They were in their early twenties. Did they have jobs? Were they in college? There was no explanation. People have lives outside of their romance.

14. Virgin-Shaming

From tvropes.org:

 Being a virgin is seen as a source of mockery.

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I understand if an experienced character doesn’t want to sleep with a virgin if there’s a solid reason. Maybe a previous experience got too clingy, or they don’t want to have to “teach” someone, or they worry about breaking someone’s heart. But it’s 2020, and it’s stupid to mock or shame someone for their sexual experience or lack thereof.

13. Nature Adores A Virgin

From tvropes.org:

Virgins are presented as more cherished or desirable than unvirgins.

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On the other hand, there’s praising virginity. I’m totally fine with a character being a virgin, but it’s gross when they are praised for it. This is especially popular in historical romance, which makes sense for the times. But I think if we are writing a “bodice ripper” romance during the modern era, it should equally reflect modern views, meaning we shouldn’t praise virginity. One big pet peeve is when a guy is all proud and honored that he’s the only one to know his virginal partner sexually. Get over it, dude. It’s not that big of a deal.

12. Not Like Other Girls

From tvtropes.org:

It’s not uncommon for the hero to tell the heroine she’s not like any other woman he’s ever met, or to emphasize how ‘different’ she is.

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I’ve already mentioned that I despise this trope. I especially hate it when the woman thinks this about herself. What’s wrong with other girls? Why praise a woman for being unique by pitting her against other women? This trope is sexist and outdated.

11. The Ingenue

From tvtropes.org:

Lots of heroines are portrayed as innocent and kindhearted, but also sheltered and unworldly with a tendency to get into danger (so the hero can swoop in and save her). She’ll often be a virgin or at least very sexually inexperienced as well; dollars to doughnuts she won’t be by the end.

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This is kind of the same as praising virginity, but more than that. I think the role of the ingenue is so overdone that at this point, it’s lazy writing. Not only is she (usually she, at least) sexually innocent, but her personality is innocent. Might as well dress her in white and give her angel wings. No one is that perfectly pure past the age of seven. Make her a little catty. Make her sexually experienced but terribly naïve. Make her anything but a stereotype!

10. Changing Yourself For Love

From tvtropes.org:

Changing your image to impress a love interest.

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Outside of Grease, I never want to see this one. Now, it can be fun! Maybe the character puts on a show and acts a certain way to get the attention of their love interest, but ends up falling for the person who sees them for who they are in the process. Or maybe their love interest liked the real them better in the first place. But if the end result is “Sandy becomes a bad girl and Danny loves it”, then I’m not here for it. (Grease is still the word, though.)

9. Distressed Damsel

From tvtropes.org:

The heroine often gets into some sort of trouble so the hero can rescue her.

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This one is just so outdated. It needs to be left in 1980. Give me a strong heroine, or a heroine who saves her love interest.

8. Beautiful All Along

From tvtropes.org:

The heroine will often be described as plain (or think of herself as plain), then gets a make-over that reveals her as stunningly beautiful.

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While a makeover scene is so much fun, it’s also outdated. I don’t mind a girl and her friends helping one another feel beautiful, but I hate when the girl then walks down the staircase and the guy (unless he already thought she was hot!) sees her and gets all googly-eyed. A toned down version of this can work, but if the woman and/or her love interest always thought she was plain and a simple makeover changes their mind… Ugh, beauty is within! This sends the wrong message!

Now honestly, on the other hand, I am DOWN with reversing this trope. The idea of a beautiful snobby girl seeing her nerdy, unkempt guy friend all dressed up and groomed and drooling over him… That sounds fun to me.

7. Manic Pixie Dream Girl

From tvtropes.org:

A peppy, energetic girl who helps a cranky, uptight guy loosen up and they fall in love.

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I wrote about this problematic trope during my time with Slutty Girl Problems. I get it – this type of character is fun, and many of my favorite films include a MPDG. I also love pairing the grumpy one with the sunshiney one! However, this specific type of sunshine is a no-no nowadays. We have seen enough of these women characters, who only serve to better their male counterparts.

6. Psycho Ex-Girlfriend

From tvtropes.org:

The ex-significant other of The Hero who didn’t take being dumped very well.

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I have not one, not two, but THREE problems with this trope. 1) If we see this ex and she plays the villain, fighting over the hero with the heroine, ew. Women, it’s 2020! (I keep saying this.) We should not be fighting over men any more! How boring… 2) Regardless of what the women are fighting over, I really just hate pitting women against one another on principle. Especially over a dude. 3) It perpetuates such a stereotype. Personally, if I’m dating a guy and he tells me his ex his psycho, unless I know him very well, it’s a red flag. I immediately side with the woman and think he’s misconstruing the situation, showing his misogynistic side, or hiding the way he treated his ex.

5. Villainesses Want Heroes

From tvtropes.org:

A villainous female is in love with The Hero.

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The first two points I mentioned above apply here, and again, I have a third point. 1) The heroine and her rival fighting over a man? Booooring. 2) Pitting women against one another is gross. 3) If this villain is truly evil, I’m sure there are things more concerning about her personality and/or actions than her wanting the hero. That should be the focus of her character.

4. Property of Love

From tvtropes.org:

When being in love makes you essentially your lover’s property.

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Obviously, this trope is disgusting and outdated. However, I do see it reflected in the most modern and empowering of romance novels. Honestly, yes, I find it kind of hot when the hero calls the heroine “mine” during a heated love scene. But it’s not something I could abide in real life and I think maybe it’s time we stop with anything proprietary, except in BDSM themes.

Speaking of BDSM themes, I hate when books depict unhealthy relationships. I know there are 24/7 relationships, but most people reading a BDSM romance novel are not into that. (Of course, authors from the community are welcome to write books for the community!) But showing a relationship that has BDSM aspects to it to be totally controlling is a misrepresentation and can lead to unsafe situations for casual readers who take an interest in BDSM. Showing the Dominant billionaire putting a tracker on his submissive girlfriend’s phone? Ugh. Nooo thanks.

3. A Match Made in Stockholm

From tvtropes.org:

A character falls in love with their kidnapper.

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I like a good play on Beauty and the Beast but overall, this theme is just not good. A real hero would never kidnap someone and such behavior should not be rewarded.

2. [Anything] Is Funny[/Okay] If It Is Female After Male

From tvtropes.org:

A girl stalking the guy she loves is considered to be cute and amusing.

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Nope nope nope. I can think of one extreme case of this (not portrayed as funny, just acceptable) in a very popular romance series I know and love – aside from this scene. I don’t want to spoil anything, so I’m not naming names, but the heroine wants a baby and her husband doesn’t, so during consensual sex she doesn’t allow him to withdraw. That is DISGUSTING. If the hero had done that, it would be viewed as rape – WHICH IT IS. Ugh, that scene just rubbed me the wrong way and it took me a while to get back into this series that everyone else was praising. (The rest of the books are great.) Stalking, rape, slapping a partner, etc. is wrong no matter which gender “starts” it.

1. Romanticized Abuse

From tvtropes.org:

Definitely not universal (although it’s a common misconception about the genre); however, there are some works where the hero (or more rarely the heroine) will treat their love interest rather poorly, yet their behavior is portrayed as romantic or glossed over.

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So many of the tropes I mentioned above touch on this: “it’s okay when a woman does it,” kidnappers and victims falling in love, being treated like property, and potentially some of the other tropes as well! Abuse is never okay and an abusive character should always be portrayed as a bad guy, or potentially a reformed side character who doesn’t get a happy ending.

Do you like any of these tropes? Also hate them? Maybe have recommendations for books that include or subvert these tropes? Comment below!

Reference – Love Tropes, Nature Adores A Virgin, and Romance Novel Tropes from tvtropes.org. (As a note, there are some things I find problematic about this wiki, but it’s a solid resource if you take it with a grain of salt.)